Provision

I'm going to be real for a second. These past 5 months? They've been tough. Don't get me wrong, they've been amazing too. I've loved every minute of everything I've gotten to do, the people I've met, the experiences I've had, and I wouldn't change a single thing. But they've also stretched me more than I thought they would, more than I've been in a long time... possibly ever. I left a very comfortable existence in Charlotte. Jobs that I loved, people I loved, a lifestyle I got used to living, and I think part of me expected that to start right back up once I moved to Nashville. And while some of it did, most of it didn't. Namely the job part, which is no small thing.

But there was one thing I forgot to remember the entire time. In the moments that I let my outward situations tangle my mind, let the errant thoughts of "What if..." creep in. I forgot the word Provision. It was as if every experience in my life up to this point that has proven to me time and time again that I will always have what I need, when I need it, had been wiped from my mind. I got caught up in the "What if.." and "Why hasn't this.." and "What if I can't.." and to put it bluntly, it screwed with my head. I even questioned (though, in all honestly, not for long) my being in Nashville.

However, this morning I woke up with such amazing clarity into that word and it's meaning in my life. It was as if I could "zoom out" and look at my life up to this point from a higher place and see how every single event in my life, big or small, has worked to provide for me. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of times when it wasn't working like I thought it would or should, but it was still working for me, for my good. When I really took a moment to think about it, I saw how many things have occurred over the past 5 months to provide for me, and when I realized that, I was blown away.

Less than a week ago, I was offered a part time job that perfectly fit my schedule and allowed me to do something that I love doing and help a sweet family in the mean time. Since I took that I've had 3 other jobs offered to me that I've had to turn down. Talk about provision? 4 jobs offered in less than a week? 3 in less than 24 hours? Yes, it took me 5 months of being jobless to get to this point... but now, I realize that I needed that experience. It taught me a lot. A. LOT.

But that begs the question: Who am I to question anything, who am I to worry? I've absolutely NEVER had a situation where I didn't end up being provided for, and goodness knows I've got the stories to prove it. I had just forgotten, or let myself get caught up in appearances for a moment so that I couldn't see what was there all along.

I've been raised to know that my life would be provide exactly what I need as I needed it. That's all I've ever known, all I was taught from as early as I can remember. And yet, still, somehow I managed to loose sight of it. Not any more. It's time to realize that I can't look outside myself for what I need. Why would you look for something you already have? If you're cold and holding a coat, you aren't going to go looking for a coat to put on. You're going to put on the coat you're holding. That's a bad analogy, but that's all I've got right now folks. You get my drift.

This was extremely stream of consciousness writing here, probably doesn't make a bit of sense, and I apologize for that. But this is what's going through my mind right now. I haven't filtered it, sifted through it, or tried to tidy it up. And I'm okay with that.

More thinking is going to happen to day... another blog may come from it... we'll see.

Stay tuned.

Ch-ch-ch-chaaaannggesss!

That title was suppose to be a quote from the Bowie song (Butterfly Boucher version, of course) and pretty much sums up my life since I wrote last, which was entirely too long ago. Another word that sums everything up?

Nashville.

A word which seems to have infiltrated just about every part of my life & conversation I have. Example: "My name is Sarah and I live in Nashville." which is how I seem to want to introduce myself to everyone I meet. That would be fine, except for the fact that I'm in Nashville saying it to other Nashvillians. Kinda weird.

Oh, and yes, that's right. I did just say I live in Nashville. I LIVE IN NASHVILLE!!!
And yes, I'm also aware that I'm being extremely obnoxious & over excited about it, but I don't even care. Because when you witness something that you've known was what was meant for your life for almost 2 years, without a single doubt or question, finally be fulfilled-- well, it's pretty awesome. And validating, and amazing, and beautiful. Because it's a whole lot bigger than me living in a new city & state, it's a whole lot bigger than Nashville itself. I don't know 100% what it's about, but I know there is great purpose in my being here. Purpose that goes way beyond any internship, concert, job, music related thing that I am (insanely excited about) going to be involved in, and I can't wait for it to unfold.

So this blog is going to be the first of many (I hope..;) capturing moments, events, or thoughts that I have along this new journey. And since I'm typing this on my iPhone (Internet hookup issues in new house... blahh) and my thumbs are cramping up, I'll close for now.

Signing off---
Sarah... from Nashville

;-p

Fly me to the Moon... or Dallas

So I'm sitting in row 22 seat E, having a Bloody Mary (minus the vodka) mid flight to Dallas. It's 8:30am Charlotte time, and I've been up since 4:00am, which was just as much fun as it sounds, I assure you. Lucky for you, this entire trip is being
very well documented with pictures & videos (that apparently i'll be editing into a movie, per my sisters orders), so you'll get to see every fun detail.

It was a rainy, cloudy day when we took off, but 2 minutes after take off, we were above the clouds & bad weather & it was sunny & absolutely beautiful. I know there's a metaphor in there somewhere, but it was pretty awesome, in every sense of the word.

Ok, gotta run, my sister has the camera in my face again. So fun!

Peace.

Fly me to the Moon... or Dallas

So I'm sitting in row 22 seat E, having a Bloody Mary (minus the vodka) mid flight to Dallas. It's 8:30am Charlotte time, and I've been up since 4:00am, which was just as much fun as it sounds, I assure you. Lucky for you, this entire trip is being
very well documented with pictures & videos (that apparently i'll be editing into a movie, per my sisters orders), so you'll get to see every fun detail.

It was a rainy, cloudy day when we took off, but 2 minutes after take off, we were above the clouds & bad weather & it was sunny & absolutely beautiful. I know there's a metaphor in there somewhere, but it was pretty awesome, in every sense of the word.

Ok, gotta run, my sister has the camera in my face again. So fun!

Peace.

So...yeah....

I just wrote an entire blog, very long and very detailed, and then proceeded to erase the entire thing.

It's just not time.

But I promise, PROMISE, that very soon I will have a plethora of things to say (and pictures to go a long with it), because there are some things in the works that make my heart very happy, very full, very content, and VERY excited, that I can't wait to share. 

But it's not time.

And I'm (trying) learning to guard my heart & my words, because a thought came to me the other day that I am holding onto, and that is "Not everyone needs to know everything, all the time..... Even you." and by "you" I mean "me". It's hard to remember that when we're continuously bombarded by social media that begs you, and makes it ever-so-easy, to give every detail of your every move to any person who wants to know. I'm not bashing it... I'm on the Twitter bandwagon, very happily and maybe slightly addictedly (that's not a word. I know. One because the little red squiggly line came under it when I typed it, and two because I just created it. That's how I roll. Go with it.) It's just too easy to take those 140 characters so many places... and while it's fine and good to take them there, it's not always necessary. I'm learning to zip my lip (and fingers) about certain things, until it's necessary. 

So, when it's time... and things are more concrete, be sure that this blog will be buzzing. Well, at least more than it has been. 

Until then.... go buy Butterfly Boucher's new album "Scary Fragile" on iTunes. It's awesome. She's awesome. You won't regret it. I promise. 

:: love love :::

Coming soon....

I will be blogging again soon... but until then, I leave you with this to check out: Hightide Blues

Trust me, you won't be sorry. And when they're all over radio/tv/huge stars... remember...You heard it here first. 

I really suck at this.

I'm a very bad blogger. I have no excuses to my lack of blogging, because there's definitely been blog-worthy stuff going on in my little world, and each time something interesting happens I make a mental note to blog about it later, most times I even take pictures too! But, alas, I never actually get around to blogging it.

Yesterday was definitely blog worthy, however. It was B-E-A-UTIFUL outside. Stunning, gorgeous, brilliant... get the picture? So it as decided that some of us would meet up with a friend and her 2 ridiculously adorable kids for a picnic at the park. This isn't your normal city park.. It's more of a park/hiking/biking thing... almost state park-ish. Lots of beautiful hiking trails, paddle boats & fishing in the lake ect. It's pretty huge.

Annnnyway, things were going great, we ate, soaked up some rays, let the kids play, & generally reveled in the gloriousness of spring in the Carolinas. Then we decided to take a walk on a PAVED trail around the lake. Sounds harmless enough, right?

So, we packed the kids into the double stroller and were off. We made it over halfway around the lake and the pave trail became a very well made gravel path. We figured we didn't have much further to go & it was so nice out, that we'd just finish the loop before heading home, sober continued.

About 15 minutes later the nice gravel path became dirt & quite bumpy and uneven. Ok, that's an understatement. It took two of us pushing & one holding up the front of the stroller to get it through the path. We kept telling ourselves we were almost there, but truthfully, I was starting to get worried. We'd already walked at least a half mile, and suddenly the only people we were seeing on the trail were passing us in the direction we were going in and the TURNING around and passing us again on their way back. But we were too far in, and I'll be darned if we were going to to back through the bad path we'd already done.

3 1/2 miles later, me in a sun dress and flip flops (hey, i signed up for a picnic, people!) with the 3 of us taking turns pushing/pulling/yanking the double stroller, and stopping more than once for the little guy to relieve himself in the bushes (newly potty trained. You so what you have to do), & dodging the bikers speeding past us(because apparently we managed to get ourselves on the bike trail), we finally saw a road in thr distance. We had made it out of the woods!

Even though we were completely and totally unprepared to take an almost 4 mile hike, it was an afternoon I will NEVER forget. We couldn't have asked the kids (ages 15 months & 3) to behave any more perfectly, they were perfect angels and never complained or cried once. Of course they are two of the best, sweetest, most adorable kids I've ever known, and if I could be guaranteed to have a children just like them, I'd have 10.

So, that was my Sunday. Memorable,fun,beautiful. It left me happy, thankful, and even a bit sunburned-- which I accepted gladly.

Life IS good. Every day can be the best day of your life. How do I know? Becaus I said so. Go outside, worship the sun, take a deep breath and let it all just seep into your soul. You'll be oh so glad you did.

::sarah::